


We'll Write Our Own

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurity, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Being together felt so perfect, but then Loki started pulling away and Tony wasn't sure why.





	We'll Write Our Own

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of the one shots that I have been working on for Camp NaNo. I am going to put them all together into a series, though they are all separate stories.  
>   
>  **Prompt—** _"That's how the story goes."_  
> 

Loki was pulling away, and Tony didn’t know why.

They had been happily together now for almost six months, they’d almost made it to the half year mark. And everything had been so perfect, like something out of a storybook that never should have happened in real life.

Tony had joined the Revengers after the mess with Thanos, having jumped at Thor’s invitation without an ounce of hesitation.  Because, really– a spaceship to play with, new worlds to see, and an endless adventure? What reason was there to say no? Rhodey even came _with_ them, as well as Bruce– and after Tony and Pepper’s breakup, the Revengers just seemed like a match made in a heaven.

And then, of course, there was Loki.

Everything had been so crazy during the invasion, so go go go, always working and desperately finding a way to win that there hadn’t been time for anger or revenge. And by the time Thanos was dead and gone, Tony realised that he and Loki had somehow managed to become friends.

They just _matched_ like Tony never had with anyone else, and it wasn’t difficult to fall back into the easy friendship they’d had while fighting for their lives, even with the imminent threat gone.

Loki made Tony smile like no one else ever did. He was witty and gorgeous and _intelligent_ , and falling into bed with him was the easiest thing Tony had ever done– save, perhaps, for falling in love.

It had happened both faster and slower than Tony had expected it to, not a sudden thing but not a gentle burn either. It might have been the way that Loki laughed with that bright spark in his eye like he held a secret that the rest of the world would die for, or the way that he looked at Tony when they woke up together in the mornings like he was the most precious thing Loki knew. Or maybe it was the way that Loki seemed to understand him, to actually listen, to know what it was that Tony needed without even having to ask.

So, yeah, they had fallen into what they were with barely any cares, just coming together in a match of paired souls so idyllic that it almost seemed like it was meant to be.

They really had been so, so perfect.

And perhaps that should have been Tony’s first warning sign.

Nothing in Tony’s life had ever gone this well, everything always had a catch. And the descent into aching was almost as slow as the original fall had been, and Tony felt like he was watching a train wreck in slow motion, completely helpless to stop it because he didn’t know _how_.

It began with little things that might have been dismissible, if they hadn’t all added up, if Tony hadn’t come to know Loki so very well. There was something sad around the edges of his smile, perhaps the echo of a past hurt or the torment of fear. Tony always tried to kiss it away with the soft press of his lips– and Loki would always then tangle his hands in Tony’s hair, pulling him close and yet pushing him away all at the same time.

There used to be nights when they would simply lie together, where they would curl in close and fall asleep in each other’s arms, not needing anything more than that to feel like they were safe and cared for. But as they neared that six-month mark, it was almost like their relationship had started moving in reverse, like instead of sex first and feelings later, they had moved back toward the meaningless.

Though Tony knew that it _wasn’t_ , because if it had started to mean nothing then why was it such a torment? Meaningless shouldn’t hurt so much.

And they _did_ still cuddle after the sex that was slowly losing its tenderness, they still pressed together and slept in each other’s arms– but every touch had an edge to it, every piece of them clashing together instead of _fitting_ just like always. Loki’s hands seemed desperate rather than reverent as they slid over Tony’s skin, and he held Tony to his chest just a little too tightly, as if he was afraid that Tony was going to disappear.

And then, in the mornings, Tony would wake up alone.

That was what broke him, in the end– too many mornings where his hands reached out only to find a cold and empty mattress, his fingers searching for a touch that was not there. Tony knew that there was something dangerously wrong, and he wasn’t willing to risk losing what they had managed to build.

He couldn’t lose Loki, not if he had a chance to fix it. He knew that he had to do _something,_ that if he let whatever it was fester, it was only going to get worse.

Still, it took a lot to work up the nerve, which hurt almost as much as the struggle itself– because talking to Loki had never _been_ this hard. And it was difficult to find the time, because he and Loki didn’t spend as much time together anymore. Loki avoided the small workshop in the bottom of the ship, he tried to eat at different times– and if Tony went to find him, he would give Tony an aching kiss and then he would make some excuse to do something _else_.

So, in the end, it was one evening when they were tangled together that Tony finally managed it, that he worked up the nerve to press his hands into Loki’s shoulders and ask him what was wrong.

Then Loki’s hands stilled on Tony’s skin as his lips curled into a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Nothing that isn’t expected,” he replied, somehow managing to make that sound like it was _okay_.

“Then tell me, so that I can try and help make it better,” Tony said. The way they were on the bed, with Tony propped against the headboard and Loki sitting over him meant that their faces were so very close together, and Tony saw every speck of emotion that coloured the green of Loki’s eyes.

And he knew what Loki was going to do before he did it. He expected it when Loki ducked his head and brought their lips together, kissing like he always did these days, like he never used to. His kisses always had something hiding in them now, something that Tony didn’t want to label because he was a little afraid of confirming what it meant.

But now, he knew that he had no other choice.

“Loki,” he said, the name whispered against Loki’s lips as he tilted up his chin, trying to break the kiss. “Loki, we need to—

“No, Anthony, please,” Loki replied, the hoarseness of his tone not hiding the way that it was almost a plea. “If you… If I could ask for just one more night. Just one more, before the end.”

“Hey,” Tony said, running a hand through Loki’s soft hair and then ducking his head, just enough so that he could catch that pained green gaze. “What do you mean, before the end?”

The sound that pulled from Loki’s throat was somewhere between a whine and a whimper, and he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Tony’s shoulder for a moment, as if he were trying to hold on for just a little longer, trying to keep them there in that moment even though he knew it would not last. And, with how well they knew each other, how well they _understood_ , that was all Tony needed to finally realise the problem.

“Loki,” Tony said, his voice a heartbroken whisper, his fingers trembling as he tried to keep stroking Loki’s hair. “Why do you think that I’m going to leave you?”

Loki’s breath left him in a shudder, his whole body shaking against Tony’s, his fingers stilling where they had been gently stroking along Tony’s bare skin. Yet, when he looked up and met Tony’s gaze, his expression spoke of simple acceptance.

“Because that’s how the story goes,” Loki said, his voice so very sad. “That’s how the story _always_ goes.”

Tony’s breath hitched as the words hit him like a waterfall, slamming into him and cutting at his insides, tearing at his heart because _how had he missed this?_

Loki watched him shatter with a sad, sad smile, and then his hand came up to cup Tony’s cheek.

“It’s all right, I understand. I’m not a person that anyone can be with for any length of time,” Loki said calmly, as if it was something that couldn’t be disputed. “In the end, everyone always leaves. And I am so grateful for the time you have given me, Anthony, and I shall forever cherish the memory. But I know that you have a brighter future ahead of you than me, and I promise– I shall not be the one to hold you back from it.”

Just like that all the gears fell into place, and everything just made sense. Loki had been trying to distract him, to try and make what he thought was going to come to an end last just that little bit longer.

And despite himself, Tony felt a soft smile cross his face– because finally, _finally_ , this was something that he could fix.

“Oh, Loki,” he said. “It would take more than a herd of rampaging bilgesnipe to make me let you go.”

When Loki’s only response was confusion, Tony pulled him back down for another kiss. But this time rather than falling into something passionate but harsh, Tony coaxed Loki’s lips into a kiss that was slow and sweet, pouring everything he was feeling into that soft caress, refusing to let any of that desperation seep through. And when he pulled back, he held Loki close still, not wanting to let him shift away even a fraction of an inch.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Tony told him firmly. “Do you hear me? I’m not.”

Loki’s eyes were wide, his lips starting to tremble.

“I love you,” Tony said. “And I don’t care about the past, or whatever has happened before. Since when have you been one to follow a pattern?”

“You love me?” Loki asked, his voice breathless– and Tony realised with a jolt that while Loki hadn’t trusted the relationship, he still had trust in _Tony_. Despite the doubt that Loki had been suffering, the simple confirmation was enough for Loki to begin to believe it– but not enough to wipe away the sadness. “You love me… and I…” he trailed off, his expression pained.

“Don’t think about the past,” Tony suggested. “Just tell me _now_. Do you want me to stay?”

“More than anything,” Loki said, and Tony smiled.  

“I know what it’s like to feel as if nothing can go right, but Loki, we _can_ , and we will. What we have is more intense than anything I’ve ever felt, and I know that isn’t just going to end,” Tony said. “So please, Loki, don’t push me away. We can write our _own_ story.”

Loki’s eyes were wide, but the curve of his lips was truer than it had been in weeks. “I love you as well,” he said. “I really, truly do.”

“Then stay with me,” Tony said simply. “Stay with me, and just see where this road leads us– because I think we’re going to be here with each other for a very long time.”

When Loki leaned down then, it wasn’t to move into a kiss– he merely leaned their foreheads together, his eyes bright and _happy_. And Tony knew that he wouldn’t mind spending every moment proving to Loki that he wasn’t going anywhere, because seeing that happiness in his eyes was more than worth it. 

And when Loki curled into Tony’s side and held him close, trailing kisses over his cheeks, his nose, his lips, Tony thought there was a chance that he was already starting to believe that they would be all right. And he hoped, in time, that they could move toward to a place where there was no need for doubt.

Their story deserved a happy ending, after all.


End file.
